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Category Archives: Family

Stop.The.Hate.

I have so many mixed emotions about everything in the news these days.  I’ve always considered myself a Christian, but when so many Christians are judging people and being down right disrespectful of others I find it hard to publicly announce my beliefs.

Let’s start with anything political…I have a firm belief that politicians should never (ever) run on the basis of religion of any kind.  Do not talk about what people “should” or “should not” do.  Do not talk about whether or not you believe in abortion or whether it is right or wrong.  Do not talk about stem cell research.  Do not talk about affairs.  Do not talk about gun legislation. And do not talk about legality of drugs.  (For the record…I do not think abortion is “right” for ME, but I cannot and will not speak for others.  I think stem cell research is extremely important in order for us to advance medicine.  What politician actually hasn’t had an affair?  Guns should be legal in order for people to protect themselves. And I think marijuana should be legalized and taxed.)

And absolutely, positively stop this war on same-sex marriages.  Why do you really care if people of the same-sex are getting married?  Here are a few thoughts that I have on the subject.  I’ve known many LGBT people through the years and count many of them among my most trusted and loving friends!  I know that through the years there has been talk of the LGBT community being a promiscuous group – often dating the exes of current partners.  But…have you EVEN seen the news or anything on TV over the past 20 years?  promiscuity is rampant in the high schools among young girls and heterosexual couples.  It’s clearly an issue with politicians and others who hold themselves in high regard.  There have been countless news stories of high schools with abundance of teen pregnancies.  There’s even a show about teenage mothers.  The divorce rates are outrageously high, and yet I know many same-sex couples who have longer lasting relationships than heterosexual couples.  The devotion they show each other is beyond comprehension in many cases.  A big problem I have is the inability for same-sex couples to act on each other’s behalf simply because they do NOT have a piece of paper stating so.  In an emergency they are unable to speak for the other at the hospital – even if it’s life or death.  This does not make any sense to me!  I have been following the most awesome blog for a while now called Raising my Rainbow – it is about a little boy who does not relate to being a boy.  He likes Disney princesses, pink, ballet, and all things girly.  Someone posted a link on Facebook and I read one post and fell in love with this little boy and his loving family.  The little boy may outgrow this, and it may just be a phase, but it could very possibly be his life (forever).  I find it impossible that a child so young would make this decision unless he was “born this way” (thank you Lady Gaga).  All I’ve ever heard through my years in and out of church has been that God does not make mistakes.  He is deliberate in his actions and he knows everything about us before we are born.  People would not choose a way of life that would be the brunt of such ridicule and hate!

My friend Lindsay posted this yesterday on Facebook (she and I used to attend the same church where her mother taught a Sunday School class I attended)…There’s a lot of attention on Christianity right now, and all I’m going to say on the matter is this:  Jesus said we are supposed to be the light of the world, set apart by His unconditional, selfless love.  No matter what else, we are commanded to show that same love to others, to everyone.  Note the use of the word EVERYONE!  We should love everyone.  I know many LGBT people who love God, and I’m quite sure he loves them too.

This takes me to the Chick-fil-a controversy.  I love me some CFA chicken and lemonade.  I’m not one to quickly jump on any bandwagon and follow the crowd.  I am such a picky eater and so I am currently torn between boycotting and enjoying some chicken nuggets.  I have many friends who have immediately boycotted them.  I have other friends, LGBT included, who still eat there.  I saw a post somewhere (probably Facebook as I seem to spend a lot of time there) that stated something to the effect – “You eat at a Christian establishment, knowing they have always been Christian and are closed on Sundays and yet you are surprised at their announcement against same-sex marriage.”  Hmmm…that’s an interesting point of view.  But then I see this girl post a long video on YouTube titled Chick-fil-a and Proverbs 25:21 and she also got me thinking.  When she started talking about the “biblical  explanation” for marriage it made me think we’ve evolved so much and yet so little.  If we strictly follow the biblical explanation women would have so few rights today – and I would NOT stand for that. I think we need to understand that when the Old Testament was written it was a very different time, which is why things changed in the New Testament.  Where there once was no music (musical instruments) there are now.  There are churches today that still follow the Old Testament and do not use instruments in their churches.  Yet, many, like those that I typically attend have full bands – guitars, drums, cymbals, you name it!  What would the Bible be like if it was written today?  How would the Old Testament read?  What about the New Testament?  My parents recently stopped going to their church because every time they stepped into their Sunday School class there was a discussion about “gays” – and quite frankly they were over it.  Enough with judging and bashing everyone!  Can we all just have our beliefs without being hateful to others?

We all have the right to fight for what we believe in, contribute money to where we feel it is best put to use, but I think it can be done respectfully and without slinging hate around.  I honestly haven’t looked up the organizations that Dan Cathy (or the Cathy/Chick-fil-a family) is donating to.  I just haven’t had the time in the past few days.  If they are Christian organizations about “saving the sanctity of marriage” – marriage as they believe it to be true – then I cannot fault them for that.  HOWEVER, if they are donating to organizations that brutalize and kill “gays” then I have a big issue with it.  One other thing that I thought of about the CFA controversy – why just discriminate against the LGBT community?  If God believes that all sin is equal than I think that CFA should not serve people who have committed crimes or any other sin (coveting thy neighbor’s house, or covet they neighbor’s wife, thou shalt not steal…and the list goes on.  There are 10 Commandments if you were unsure.)

Please…it’s 2012 and we need to find ways to be more tolerant and accepting of everyone. We should all be able to live our lives without shoving it down each other’s throats.  I have never encountered a LGBT who has tried to convert me or tell me my way of living is wrong.  So why would I do that to them?  It is not my place to determine they are wrong for following their hearts.

I will leave you with this that I saw on Facebook (yes, again…Facebook).

Acknowledge we are all different and strive to be a decent and loving human being.

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It could only happen to me…

I have to bring this to my blog – I posted this on Facebook on January 31st at 6:37 pm.

So…a guy at the bar at the local Chili’s literally saved my life tonight!! I choked on a crouton from my grilled chicken cesaer salad and he gave me the heimlich . Wow!!

And here are the comments that followed:

APRIL M:  HOLY COW! January 31 at 6:40pm

WES S: Wow – have not seen anyone use that pick up line before :). Glad you are ok… January 31 at 6:53pm

WANDA M:OMG. Glad you are ok. January 31 at 6:55pm

NANCY J:  Oh my gosh. You have a hero! That must have been scary. So glad you are ok. January 31 at 7:13pm

HEATHER P:  Whew, that was a close one!! You see?! And here I was thinking salad was GOOD for me?!! WTH! Did you get his number? THAT would be such a cute “how did you two meet” story, wouldn’t it?? January 31 at 7:24pm

STEPHANIE A: I’m so glad you’re okay! January 31 at 7:31pm

CHRISTINE B: Wow, I’m thankful he was thinking on his toes. Glad you are okay!! January 31 at 7:39pm

HEATHER (ME): So, here’s a back story regarding coughing. My mom has been on blood pressure medicine for years and it makes her cough (a lot) and people always look at me funny when I’m not doing anything about her coughing – I know she’s not choking, just coughing. I tell my friends when they worry about her coughing that until she bangs on the table she’s fine. Tonight I am definitely choking and I forget our code – bang on the table! My mother is laughing all is said and done and she knows I’m breathing because not ONE person tried to help her when she was coughing only seconds before I accidentally inhaled the crouton into my throat. And, as far as “how did you two meet” he was a retired USMC drunk (or at least one drink away from) and I’m just glad he was at least cognizant enough to save my life!!! I offered to buy him a drink before my server told me that he’s in there drinking (too much) all time. Also, he was WAY taller than me which meant that he ended up doing the heimlich  a little higher up than my belly button area and I think I will be all bruised tomorrow. My mother jumped up from her chair and started whacking me on the back and he jumps up, a chair goes flying, he pushes my mother aside and next thing I know he’s making a piece of crouton go flying out of my mouth (sorry if someone slips on that later). In true, Heather, fashion the whole thing made me pee my pants!! LOL January 31 at 7:39pm

LISA H: Glad you’re ok! January 31 at 7:41pm

HEATHER (ME): Thanks everyone – I like to keep things interesting! For the record, tomorrow is MY New Year’s Day since the real one sucked with being in the ER. I wasn’t planning on ending my year 2x on a bad note. 🙂 January 31 at 7:42pm

RANDI T: Holy moly! Thank goodness he reacted with a cool head in a crisis! Are you ok? Any broken ribs?  January 31 at 7:44pm

CORINNE E: Was he cute? Did you get his number so you can thank him properly? 😉 January 31 at 7:46pm

HEATHER (ME): Nothing broken…no numbers exchanged…a little bruised, I think…and definitely (above all) thankful!! January 31 at 7:48pm

CORINNE E: glad you are ok Heather!! January 31 at 7:52pm

HELEN V: Wow, that was far more interesting then my evening! January 31 at 8:16pm

HEATHER (ME):  I would have been okay with a dull evening LOL January 31 at 8:25pm

DAWN S: Happy that someone stepped up to the plate to help, glad for mom too =) January 31 at 8:48pm

DAWN S:  Side question what meds does ur mom take ??? You can pm me if you’d like. I cough too, wonder if we are taking the same thing January 31 at 8:50pm

KARA B: Marines kick ass!!! Better bruised than dead. Glad you’re still with us. I hope you hugged our hero. January 31 at 8:50pm

TUESDAY W: OH MY GOODNESS! January 31 at 8:52pm

TUESDAY W: I am SO glad that we are hearing the story from YOU and not someone else!!! Angels were watching out for you! Xoxooxxoxoxoxo January 31 at 8:52pm

MEGAN K: Wow. Glad he was there drunk or not! January 31 at 8:53pm

JENNIFER W: I read this and thought, “only my best friend!” Glad he was there! January 31 at 8:56pm

LIZ M: oh my girl, I am so glad you are ok, and thank goodness for him!! 🙂 February 1 at 12:33am

LISA G: I am glad you are ok ,but your story made me almost pee my pants laughed so hard I cried! Will you please write your book already! lol! February 1 at 8:16am

SCOTT (MY BROTHER): Omg!!!!! This could only happen to you. I’m so glad that your here to tell us about it.
Tell that Guy thank you from your brother 🙂 February 1 at 8:42am

I have to tell you…stuff like this has been happening to me my whole life.  Today there was an “incident” with a BIG roach and the service elevator at work.  I did a little dance, almost got stuck in the elevator, and then jumped out to avoid said roach.  If there was a video I’d probably win some money!

The thing is, I’m not sure I’d want my life any other way.  I have great family. I have great friends.  And they ALL. LOVE. ME. JUST. THE. WAY. I. AM!!  I’m not sure why they do, but they do and I’m giddy about that. 🙂

 

Well good for him!

I consider myself open-minded.  I consider my parents to be kind of open-minded.  I consider my dad’s mother to be open-minded to the point that she seems to be more “aware” of things going on in society more than most grandmothers.  I do not, however, consider my mom’s mother to be open-minded.  She’s a democrat – there isn’t another choice.  She likes things a certain way – and that’s that!

The story I’m about to tell you may seem a bit all over the place.  Stay focused.

First, regarding my open-mindedness, I have never really seen race, sexual orientation, etc when talking to people.  I may notice if your outfit doesn’t match, but I don’t care about the color of your skin or whether or not you like someone of the opposite sex or the same-sex.  I had a friend once say I was the first person who didn’t judge her and her lifestyle…well, quite frankly it’s not up to me to judge her or anyone else.  I firmly believe that it’s not a decision people make.  You don’t wake up one day and decide to live a lifestyle that people “kill” people over.  I also had a black uncle when I was growing up and I thought everyone did – I didn’t realize our family was different.

Now onto the reason for this post.  I’m not a regular viewer of Dancing with the Stars, but I do watch from time to time.  As many of you may know, there was A LOT of controversy over Chaz Bono being on the show this year.  Many parents took offense to him being on the show and blew up the Internet with posts about banning the show in their house because they didn’t want to have to tell their children about Chaz being a transgender, and being born a girl.  I have no problem whatsoever with Chaz being on the show or about him being a transgender.  But I must say I did wonder what conversations might be like in households around the country.

And then it happened!  My mother and I are driving down the road one day – I’m driving and she’s in the passenger seat having her daily phone call with my grandmother (Grammy, as we call her – affectionately known as my Crazy Grandmother when she drives us nuts with the same thing over and over) and guess what comes up??  What?  You haven’t figured it out?  Oh…I know you are smarter than that!  That’s right! Dancing with the Stars and the people on it.  I hear only my mom’s side of the conversation, but it was a doozy!  I hear this “Do you remember Sonny and Cher and their variety show in the 70s?  Well, that is their daughter Chastity.  He had an operation and is now a man – Chaz.”  Needless to say – I’m sitting in the car mouth wide opened trying to figure out what the heck that conversation was about.  My mother, after hanging up, tells me what went down.  My grandmother tells my mom she stayed up late the night before (she’s in bed usually between 7:00-8:00 depending on her day) so she could watch Dancing with the Stars, but she said “Who was that big fat guy?  He looks familiar.”  And there it was…the need to tell my grandmother that the big fat guy was born a girl.  Oh dear – I never expected that in my lifetime!  My mother gives the Sonny and Cher explanation and my grandmother simply says “Well good for him!” End of story – onto the next thing she has in her brain that day, which was probably telling my mom everything that happened that day including who called, who stopped by, and what she ate.

I say, if my Catholic no-nonsense non-openminded (or so I thought) grandmother can be accepting – than maybe more people need to consider their thoughts and actions when condemning people for their lifestyles.

Grammy’s Boots

Many of you know that every month I call my Grammy to go over her bills and balance her checkbook for her. She is in CT and it is heartbreaking that she is so far away, but she always manages to make me laugh with her repetitive stories and the little things she says.

The beginning of September I went through the typical ritual and everything seemed fine. I did notice that she wrote a check to Comfort Moccasins. I didn’t think much about it at the time. I figured she probably ordered something out of one of her magazines of the newspaper.

Well, Friday she called my mother to ask her if she sent her some boots. My mother said, “No, why would I send you boots? I don’t even like boots or anything about boots so I wouldn’t send you any.” My Grammy proceeds to tell my mom that earlier in the week she received an odd box and inside were some rubber soled thick lined boots. She said the book was like a plastic material and inside was an invoice that said zero on it so she threw it all away and the trash had already been picked up. My mom asked if they fit and she said yes. Of course, there is still no clue as to where they came from.

So, my mother tells me the story and I say “She sent a check for them.” And my mom starts saying “What are you talking about?” I look at the check register and there it is 8/23/09 a check to Comfort Moccasins. My mother can’t stop laughing, and quite frankly neither can I. I call my Grammy and say “I hear you got some boots.” And she says, “Yes, I have no idea where they came from.” And I say, “You ordered them.” To which she says, “I did?” (read that with a high level of shock) “Let me get my checkbook.” As she puts the phone down on the table I hear her say “Oh Lord, oh Lord.” I am trying really hard to contain myself at this point. She comes back to the phone and I tell her to go to the date of 8/23/09 and look for check number 2395 and there in front of her are the words Comfort Moccasins. She now says she is blushing and hanging her head in shame and tells me to never get old (well, it’s too late for that – we are all headed in that direction). After she goes on telling me all about the boots and that she forgot all about them since they didn’t show up right away (she doesn’t realize it takes a while to mail a check, process the check and the order and then ship the product unlike shopping online or using a debit/credit card on the phone). I ask her if she likes them and she says “Oh yes!” So I say, “Well good, because you have new boots.” By-the-way, she keeps calling them boots, but I’m thinking they are probably slippers with a rubber sole so that if you need to run to the mailbox they won’t get ruined and you don’t have to chance shoes.

As the southerners say “Bless her heart!”

My Grandmother is sooo funny!

My grandfather died 3 years ago (will be 4 in July) and since that time I have been handling my grandmother’s checkbook. She writes checks to pay her bills and then I go online to her bank and keep a check register of all her checks and deposits.

Every month after the first week of the month (I have to wait for her Social Security and Civil Service checks to be deposited) I call her and we go over her checkbook. Below is a glimpse of what these conversations sound like:

ME: Hi Grammy. It’s Heather.
HER: Hello. It’s your grandmother.
ME: Yes, I know. I called you.
HER: Hold on…let me get my book.
ME: Okay…
HER: Okay so I have $xxx.xx for Social Security and $xxx.xx for Civil Service.
ME: Yes. That’s right.
HER: Okay, where do you want to start?
ME: I see the last check you wrote was ONE TWO ZERO EIGHT for FOUR ONE ONE TWO. (Yes, I actually say each number instead of 1208 (twelve oh eight) for $41.12 (forty-one twelve) because she gets confused.) Have you written any other checks since that one?
HER: OH YES! I have written so many checks this month.
ME: Okay, ONE TWO ZERO NINE?
HER: THREE ONE TWO SEVEN for the pharmacy
ME: Okay, ONE TWO ONE ZERO?
HER: TWO ONE SEVEN TWO. I had to go to the pharmacy again because my other prescription wasn’t ready.
ME: Okay. That’s fine. ONE TWO ONE ONE?
HER: No. That’s it. (ummm…didn’t she just say she had written a bunch of checks? Did I miss something?)
ME: Okay. Are you sure that’s it?
HER: Yes.
ME: Okay. You have interest to add in the amount of ONE FIVE THREE. Hold on and I will add everything up.
HER: Okay. I have time. You are my angel from Heaven. I really appreciate you doing this for me.
ME: Of course. I know you do. Okay…you’re new total is (and this is fictional of course) ONE SEVEN TWO FIVE FOUR SIX.
HER: Okay…SS (amount spelled out), Civil Service (amount spelled out), Interest (amount spelled out) and balance (spelled out).
ME: Yes. That’s right.
HER: You have no idea how much of a help you are to me. The neighbors have been so nice. I ate dinner with them 2 times last month. I went out for lunch with my other angel from Heaven, Gary. Bill brought me my 23rd chicken sandwich for lunch the other day (yes, she is keeping track of how many sandwiches he has brought her). People have been so nice to me. I am so lucky. Everyone hugs me at church when I go.
ME: Of course they do grammy. Everyone loves you.
HER: I just miss your grandfather so much. I look over at his chair and I just see him there. I want to be with him.
ME: We miss him too, but we want you here. It’s not your time yet.
HER: I know. I just miss him.
ME: We all do.
HER: Give everyone my love. Give mom and dad a hug for me.
ME: I will.
HER: Thank you so much for all your help. You are my angel from Heaven.
ME: You’re welcome. I love you. Good bye.
HER: Bye.

For the record…except for the specific dollar amounts – this is pretty much the exact conversation we have every single month! Gosh I love her!

I’m not very PC…

Today PSPants and I went to lunch and had a swell time talking about the holidays and such…

On the way back we got into a bit of a conversation about stuff that is not very PC (hell…it’s not PC at all)! First being this horrible new joke out about John Travolta’s son who just died. So, the joke goes “Did you hear what John Travolta’s son died of?” “No.” “Oh, it was Saturday Night Fever.” HAHA – get it? Okay, I know…that was one more confirmation that I am going straight to hell. But it’s not as bad as the Sarah Palin joke which I will not repeat to mixed company (since some people who I don’t really know might be reading this…).

This conversation lead us to discuss things such as people who are racist. Did you know that when I was growing up Brazil nuts were called Nigger Toes?? Are you kidding me? I remember being at my grandparents house and my grandfather saying “Hand me some of those nigger toes.” I was a kid and I was mortified! “What? We have a bowl full of black people’s toes? Grandma…Say it isn’t so!”

So, on that note the discussion comes up about my cousins who are “mulatto” because my dad’s sister (white) married a black man. This was kind of troublesome a little over 20 years ago for some reason, but I grew up thinking everyone had a black uncle. Don’t you? You know how kids go through the phase of “My daddy is better than your daddy…” and you are in fights with the neighbor kid because you are sure your daddy can beat up their daddy? Well, it was one of those days at my grandma’s house. J (my cousin) was on our side of the fence and the little white girl from next door had a friend over. They were throwing rocks at each other and saying “My daddy is better than your daddy…” My cousin must have run out of things to say because he threw one last rock and said “Well, my daddy’s big and black!” And the girls gasped and ran inside. I guess they couldn’t top that!

Using the word mulatto made PSPants remember that when she grew up they were called high yellow. Not a nice thing to say, but then I don’t know for sure that mulatto is either – I mean, isn’t that a Pepperidge Farm snack with chocolate between two white cookies? Nope…I’m wrong – I just looked up the real meaning of mulatto (see below). One of my non-written goals for 2009 was/is to learn new words…today’s word is mulatto.

The word is MULATTO which means:- mu·lat·to [m láttō, m ltō]n (dated)
1. a taboo term for somebody who has one black and one Caucasian parent
2. a taboo term for somebody who has both black and Caucasian ancestors
3. a term, socially acceptable in the Caribbean Islands and other Latin American regions, for somebody who has one black and one Caucasian parent
4. a term, socially acceptable in the Caribbean Islands and other Latin American regions, for somebody who has both black and Caucasian ancestors.

*Side note…note trying to offend. Just being honest and kids are the worst – they are honest to a fault and most of what I discussed above was based on when we were kids. So take it or leave it…

Oh my God – I’m my grandmother!

I will admit it – I have a thing for fashion and pride myself on matching. To some it may seem a bit overboard, but I like what I like and what I like is to match! And by that I mean that a hot red purse goes with EVERYTHING! And you know what? Now that I think about it – my new patent leather red purse has a striking resemblance to the little red number my grandmother used to have that I loved to use for dress up. Oh how I will have to scan the photo and show just how wonderful it was! (And, of course, show you my new one).

But, as I was saying – OMG – I’m my grandmother! Three years ago my grandfather passed away and quite frankly we didn’t think my grandmother would hang in there with us – we sincerely thought she may die of a broken heart after losing my grandfather. We are very happy that was not the case – especially since she gives us some pretty funny stories to pass along. Which brings me to why I think I’m my grandmother!

My mother is talking to her the other day and she proceeds to tell my mother about her LifeLine that she invested in (with no coercion from us) to ensure her safety. Well, imagine my mother’s surprise when my grandmother informs her that she does not always like wearing the LifeLine because it doesn’t match her jewelry and/or her outfit. Because I know I will be in her shoes one day with the need for a LifeLine I am going to see what I can do to design some that are a lot more fashionable – I mean, when I’m 83 I want to look HOT and I need my LifeLine to match thank you very much!